A Therapist's Perspective: The Importance of Play for Adults
Play is a voluntary activity we engage in naturally as little ones growing up and learning about the world through our senses. We get curious and find expressive outlets to explore pleasure, fun, and excitement through our bodies and minds. Play is so innate for us as children, but as we become adults, living under rigid rules and systems of oppression, that playful part of ourselves often gets lost.
I'm Somaly, a licensed New York City therapist. In this article, I'll share with you the importance of play as adults. The impact on our mental and physical health and how accessing that part of ourselves can even lead to healing for those who may struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, and the daily stress of life.
Why is play important for adults?
Play is the opposite of control.
As adults, one of the most innate defenses that most of us carry to manage the stress and anxieties of life is the need to control. This can happen subconsciously through creating narratives in your mind or even people pleasing to manage other people's perceptions. Control can also occur consciously through behaviors that create a sense of "safety" and predictability when feeling vulnerable or uncertain. The need for control can make you feel anxious or judgmental towards yourself and even develop perfectionist tendencies.
Play is an overlooked remedy that is often needed.
True play is intrinsically motivated rather than needing external rewards. There is no alternative motive.
Play can help turn off our minds and access our body's internal knowing to self-regulate through joy, excitement, curiosity, and even energetic release. We can liberate the part of ourselves that is planning for the week, such as completing projects and tasks to keep up with life's demands through play.
Play sparks imagination and creativity.
Creative blocks can be caused by doubt, perfectionism, fear of failure, or stagnation in ideas and inspiration. Play can help you connect with the parts of yourself that are more spacious.
Play brings out the younger parts of you that often get ignored.
As a therapist, I use parts work as one of my primary modalities to help clients get in touch and heal the parts of themselves that are stuck in pain and trauma. We may have younger, more vulnerable parts of ourselves that activate when the adult (present part) of us undergoes something that may remind us of an unpleasant experience.
One way we can help heal those vulnerable, younger parts is to engage in activities such as play so that the kid part can feel joy and connection. Nourishing these parts of ourselves through play can create more resiliency within our nervous system and aid healing.
How do you start playing as an adult?
You read all these benefits to play, but how do you get started, especially if this is outside your comfort zone?
Play with toys or create art.
Go to Five Below or a toy/department store and pick out 3-5 things (toys, coloring books, games, art mediums, etc) that ignite your interests- invite that kid part of yourself out and see what gets them feeling excited.
Set intentional time & set the mood. Is there a particular music genre? Do you prefer to sit on the table or the floor? You may want to make snacks, whatever helps you feel playful and inspired.
Start small- get out your materials and start! The intention is not to have any expectations but to lean into your curious/playful part.
Keep practicing- habits are important, and set aside time for play and expand what play looks like for you.
Engage with other people, the outdoors, your body or movement, and follow the things that feel exciting!
In conclusion
It's okay if play doesn't come naturally to you as you begin to engage with that part of yourself that the world has pushed down. What's important is the intention that has been set and the practice and dedication that is being put forward! Building and reconnecting to the playful, often younger parts of ourselves can take some time, but the more you call attention and care to those parts, the more those parts will feel prioritized and supported and come out more naturally.
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