Everyone Says “Listen to Your Body” But How Do You Actually Do It?

As a New York City somatic experiencing therapist, I have noticed that there has been more curiosity and acceptance of alternative and more holistic healing practices such as acupuncture, reiki, cranial sacrum, and somatic therapy. More research has proven that working with the body and nervous system is necessary for healing trauma and chronic stress. The saying "listen to your body" becomes mainstream and encouraged, but what does that mean when we live in a society that often pushes our bodies beyond capacity? Frequently, life teaches us from a young age to disengage from our sensations. In this article, I will highlight why we lose connection with our bodies and practical ways to awaken our physical senses and be more embodied so that we can ultimately trust our bodies' innate wisdom.

Why do we lose connection with our bodies?

Traumatic event at a young age

We may have experienced trauma at a young age-- a young person's nervous system is not fully developed or equipped to move through traumatic events; thus, they may resort to freezing to numb out the pain; chronic exposure to trauma creates a disconnection to the body.

Lack of attunement

Developmentally, we learn about our world through sensory experiences and responsive interactions with parents and caregivers. Suppose our caregivers are not responsive to us when we are being ourselves or needing connection. In that case, we may learn to disconnect from ourselves and become small or suppress who we are.

Having parents or caregivers who are dysregulated

Like attunement, when we are young, we learn how to cope with stress and complex emotions through our parents or caregivers and how they model emotional regulation and distress tolerance. Suppose we have parents who respond poorly to stress. In that case, we also learn and respond similarly, which takes us outside of our physical felt senses and more into maladaptive coping techniques such as pushing beyond capacity, seeking control, or numbing through external stimuli.

Systemic oppression

Capitalism and white supremacy foster workaholism, productivity, and self-worth tied to career "success." That is drilled into us from a young age from adults around us to the education system; what can happen is the need to keep pushing for more, feeling a lack of things, and never having or being enough. These systems can create chronic blockages in one's nervous system. When this happens, your nervous system will start to numb out and override its senses to keep going on autopilot, leading to more disconnection from your body, which can also create burnout.

How do you start listening to your body?

Self-massage & touch awareness

When disconnected from our bodies, it can be hard to feel sensations, or when we do notice sensation, it is often unpleasant and too much. You can introduce a new way of noticing more neutral and pleasant sensations by messaging your body and tracking what that feels like. Is it warm? Are your muscles throbbing? Is there an itch, or maybe you now feel energized? Notice that. When I work with clients who answer "nothing" to what they notice with their bodies, I introduce self-touch to induce physical feelings to start noticing and feeling.

If touching yourself is too much, you can use an object as an entry point to your sensory experience. Find an object to explore in your environment, put it in your hands, notice its texture, temperature, and colors, and experience it for a few minutes at a time.

Diaraphamic breathing

Diaphamic breathing is a technique where we breathe from the abdomen; this creates a greater exchange of oxygen. If you are unfamiliar with this form of breathing, I invite you to lay down on your back and put one hand on your belly; as you breathe through your nose, notice your belly rising, pushing your hand up; as you breathe out through your mouth, notice your belly falling, prompting your hand down. As you continue to breathe, notice the sensations of your body and breathe. Is there tightness in your inhales? Continue finding a rhythm that works for you as you expand to the breath, the contact with the ground or support you are laying on, and how your muscles are supported.

Move!

Finding an activity where you move your body is a beautiful way to feel the sensations in your body before, during, and after. Any activity will do as long as you are moving, such as walking, stretching, and dancing. While you move, notice how your body feels and track the sensations, your emotional state or awareness during and after, and how it compares to before the activity begins. This way, you can recognize the subtle changes in your physiology and emotional and mental wellness. Movement and exercise are a great way to get in touch with your senses and boost dopamine!

Increasing your felt sense vocabulary

For folks who can connect more through their stories and cognition or those trying to expand their vocabulary for bodily senses, this felt sense vocabulary list could help you build vocabulary regarding your experience. It will help you develop a new intelligence for somatic self-expression and connect your senses to a larger narrative for yourself and others.

Body-based therapy modalities

Somatic Experiencing Therapy

Somatic therapy is an evidenced-based, body-centered therapy modality that helps treat the physiological symptoms of people who have experienced trauma or adverse life situations.

Somatic therapy is based on the belief that trauma or stress can cause dysfunction in the nervous system and prevent people from fully processing their experiences, creating the feeling of being stuck in an activation or stress response. Somatic therapy helps create a mind-body connection where folks can find self-regulation through the body and release the trauma or stress response by completing it with the therapist they did not have access to when the trauma occurred.

Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is an evidence-based structured therapy in which clients are asked to focus on the traumatic memory while simultaneously experiencing bilateral stimulation, often with eye movements, intended to reduce the vividness, emotion, and trigger associated with the memory. Sometimes, a traumatic experience can resolve on its own. At the same time, other times, it can linger in the brain, which creates the feeling of being stuck in the past when one experiences triggers.

Click here to learn more about holistic approaches to therapy.

Feel free to contact me and learn more about my approach to therapy.

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